Wednesday, January 12, 2005

iSucks

*this is from my friend Adam*



There are a lot of things that suck. When asked to write about something that sucks I was torn. You have SCA the group, Ska the music type, Furries, Hentia, scat play, scat music, water sports(sex), water sports(water polo), cults, people in general, and of course vacuums(hover and Space), all these things and many more suck.

I decided I would go with i sucks. Not I, but i as in iBook made by the Apple Corporation, not to be confused with the Umbrella Corporation, makers of the finest Zombies this side of Romero. So I connect my iPod, through my iCable to my iMac, so I can iDownload from iTunes, while I write in iWorks, waiting for iMovie to finish compressing, so I can burn with iDVD, or maybe put it all together in iLife. iThis, iThat, I can't stand it. This trend of iEverything is driving me mad. It was a neat iDea when they did it in '98 with the original iMac. All the peripherals (including some third party) were iSomething. Now it's gotten so bad, that they force iThings upon us with every ounce of there mighty iStrength. Now are they doing this in the hopes that i will catch on? Guess what, if after seven years it hasn't, it won't.

Is it perhaps just Apple's reflection of our ever growing self centric culture, where everything is about slefishness. I need this, I want that, our society has become damn selfish, even the Military is pushing it's Army of one campaign just to attract the average self serving, self centered, self masturbating, and most likely self loathing American. Is Apple going after the same demographic? Are they helping this greedy nation focus on what's important, the i? Are they feeding the gluttonous swine iPearls? Will we the people become me the people and will I buy iStuff till there is no more we, or us, and only me? I don't know. What I do know is I'm sick of seeing it. Sick of other companies jumping on board and fling i's around like like a drunk trucker flinging shit in the stall of a hillbilly food mart. i, i, i, I mean I, I, I am weary of needing to preface every fucking noun with the letter i, followed by the capital of whatever the word really is. Well I'm done, I gotta go take an iShit.

19 Comments:

Blogger Christopher Willard, SPHR said...

WOW, what a statement. I mean I am a windows user and pretty much am faithful to Mr. Gates, so iSucks is iDEAL for me!! However, I do think that Apple Corp., has come out with some impressive items. There marketing is very consumer based and the "i" thing has gone a bit out of control. Steve Jobs when talking about the iShuffle said that he wanted to take up the rest of the major market of the mp3 players and make a flash based player, with the iPod killing the market otherwise. He wants the whole pie graph to be Apple. Yet when making the Mac Mini and all this i shit, he misses the business portal. Hmmm… will there be an iBusiness soon?

As to losing identity that will happen some day anyway everything is leaning toward it... debit cards replacing cash... rfIDs... GPS in your car, hell probably an implant required by law (like one of those do not remove tag warnings!) anyway... our every move will be mapped, judged, and executed.

Take a look at our justice system... supposedly "Justice is Blind"... hell, it's not blinded with that cloth, it's covering it's eyes because it's embarrassed.

Adam's right there is to much of an I in this world to drive someone iNasne, yet I have to look deep inside and realize that a lot of the time I focus on "I" a little too much myself. What will I get out of the deal? What will I gain to be this person's comrade? What do I, What will I, How can I, I, I, I... however, "I" will give you the shirt off my back too... Maybe it's my Jewish blood that makes me focus on the "I" and my father's Irish blood that makes me wanna have a brew with the buds and share it all?!?! Who knows.

January 12, 2005 at 2:58 PM  
Blogger Jason Sares said...

checkout iProduct:

You'll but it. And you'll like it.

January 12, 2005 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Jason Sares said...

http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/iProduct.gif

January 12, 2005 at 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that iProduct about sums it up, eh?

January 13, 2005 at 7:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To the commenter- in all fairness, you should post the iProduct rebuttal: http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/images/AppleHaters.gifBoth can be found on Gizmodo around here.

Dan

January 13, 2005 at 8:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "i" in Apple's products stands for "integrated", because these products integrate with each other flawlessly and itegrate into your own life perfectly.
The only thing Windows PC's integrate flawlessly with is viruses, spyware, malware, trojans, malicious scripts, pop-ups, and whatever other damaging programs will be created in the future.

While I spend my precious time using Apple products to be creative and organize and share my life with others, my PC friends spend their time dealing with viruses, crashes, and hardware failures.

My PC friends brag about having the best version of Norton Anti-Virus and the most recent version of Adaware. I brag because I don't need these to USE MY COMPUTER. I paid money to USE my computer, not to waste my time dealing with the vulnerablilities and lack of security in Windows.

That is why I have been a Mac user for all of my life, and that is why my PC friends are switching to the Mac one by one.

January 14, 2005 at 11:43 PM  
Blogger Weenis said...

I already posted this on mine, but what the hell.

Ah, yes. The classic Mac vs PC argument.

Why would anyone buy a Mac? I mean they don't have any software for them, for crying out loud! Who would really want to give up all the 1337 warez and stuff and excellent firewalls like Zone Alarm Pro (Which no 1337 h4xor can hope to penetrate!1111) and invincible utils like Partition Magic, and Norton (oh yeah baby), Adaware (oh yeah baby), not to mention countless other warez, since there is so much out there for PCs.

We all know that Macs aren't compatible with PCs in any form what-so-ever. You can't open documents on a Mac if they were made on a PC. You can't open Office documents on a Mac. I mean God! Even pictures get corrupted if you transfer them from one platform to the other.

How sad. I'll bet I even had someone fooled. I bet some PC puppets even started cheering on these "facts". Well let me work my Morpheus mind-freeing magic. I am well aware of these "reasons", or, more accurately, excuses for not accepting the overwhelming truth. I should know. I was "one of them". I was a Mac hater, and PC lover.

Also, my "1337" networking friends can even outdo me on these BS "facts". It's better than Saturday Night Live.

Yes, I was one of "them". I had used Macs for years in school, and, me being a student, was limited to what I could or could not do, under a very efficient and sufficient security solution called "At Ease". So I couldn't do much. At that time, I didn't have a PC or a Mac. I just knew I didn't like my limited options. So, since I was not an administrator, I didn't know that you could do more. I thought that that was all you could do. I was like "what's the point?"

It wasn't until 2001 that my best friend and I met in college, after not really talking a whole lot during our teenage years, due to uncontrolled reasons. I learned then that he was a Mac user. I knew I had to convert him. He knew he had to do the same. We debated regularly about the pros and cons of both.

By the time of me writing this, I have used Windows for about 5 years. I have learned more than I care to know about Winblows. I had to, if I wanted to keep using it. I have had to reformat and re-install Windows an estimated 30 times in this 5 year time period. About half of those times were because Windows really did commit suicide. The other half was because of some virus or bug in software that caused the OS and kernel to go fubar.

But matter it does not. If you can't use your OS without some serious diagnostic intervention, that is unacceptable. Millions of PC users need to take their PC into service centers, or, if they are not technologically impaired, they can correct various contingencies themselves. Why is this tolerated? If your car broke down once a month, or once every three months, would you keep using it?

Unfortunately, I am sure some people would. I assume their argument then would be, "Well yeah, but there are more parts available for it, and they are cheaper," forgetting entirely of service costs, environmental hazard fees, and the notorious shop towel fee.

I did not intend this article to be half this long. While most Mac haters' posts are usually limited to one or two lines, (and, most often contain false statements about how expensive they are and how you can't do this or that), usually due to the fact that there IS nothing to complain about regarding Macs, I can actually think of valid complaints about PCs and its slave driver, Windows.

Actually, I don't have to think too hard. The complaints just keep flowing and flowing and flowing. Kind of like the diarrhea that pours out of Anti-Macs' mouths.

Back to the example of my friend and I. There was no way I was going to let a Mac user beat me in an argument. Because I was a Windows user, damnit! And, well, he was a Mac user.

I explained to him that Pentium IIIs were "obviously" faster than G4s at the time, since the G4s only had a low 400MHz and the Pentium IIIs were approaching 1GHz. MHz OBVIOUSLY is everything about performance (note the sarcasm).

As of right now, the Pentium 4s have a 20-stage pipeline that their data flows through in 1 processing cycle. The older G4 only has a 7 stage pipeline. While it may sound like the higher a number of stages a processor has, the better, to processor-technology impaired drones, the reverse is true. The lower the number of stages is better. This means that the data is processed, and leaves the processor faster and quicker than a 20 stage processor.

In a video, Apple's hardware chief explains that MHz is not performance. He demonstrated a Pentium 4 getting pwned by an older G4. An 867MHz pwned a 1.8 GHz (or was it 1.7GHz? I forget. Not that it matters...)!!!

My friend basically explained that to me. I must say, I learned something. As a rule of thumb, take an Apple processor, double its MHz, GHz, or whatever, and you have the equivalent of how fast it would be if it were an x86 processor. It's different for dual processors though, and I don't know a whole lot about that.

And that is being conservatively nice, because usually Pentiums are a fraction of the Gx's power. Apple's G5 just blows EVERYTHING else away. Why do you think you won't see 1 PC in Hollywood? Because the movie-editing software that they use, is just too powerful for PCs.

[The PowerPC G5 processor dramatically accelerates performance in real world applications. When compared head-to-head against PCs in a large series of Photoshop tests, the dual 2.5GHz, dual 2GHz, dual 1.8GHz and single 1.8GHz Power Mac G5 systems ran the 45 filters 98%, 82%, 66% and 20% faster, respectively, than the 3.4GHz Pentium 4-based system and 75%, 63%, 48% and 11% faster than the dual 3.2GHz Xeon-based system.]

http://www.apple.com/powermac/performance/

Each PowerPC G5 can achieve a theoretical throughput of (at least) 9 million floating-point operations per second, or 9 gigaflops.

Ok, but you still can't open documents from PCs on a Mac! Uh, what? Then how come my friend can open all the word, document, sound and other file types from my Dell flawlessly on his Mac? Oh yeah, because Macs CAN open virtually ALL files. Yes. They can. Trust me. Because they just do.

Because Micorosft makes Office for Macs. And has since 1985. Just ask Bill Gates. He'll tell you. He'll also tell you it is superior than the version for Windows. Actually, Microsoft already has told millions this. Just visit their website.

What can't they open?.EXEs from a Windows system, but that's to be expected, since it's a different operating system.

And, to brutally slaughter this retarded argument, they have Virtual PC, (MADE BY MICROSUCK ITSELF, OK?!?!) for a Mac, so that you CAN run Winblows on a Mac, if you obsolutely cannot do without Adaware or Norton.

I know. Who can resist all the pop-ups in Norton reminding you of this and that every 15 seconds? I know it's hard to break away from these.

You can copy, move, or do whatever you want for most programs on a Mac. There is NO registry on a Mac. No missing files, no malware that works its way into your registry for good. Why even bother with that crap?

If you wanted, you could move, copy, whatever, in a different directory and the programs will still run fine.

So, Macs CAN open Office files flawlessly, Mac's version of Office is superior, and Macs aren't prone to viruses and spyware like on a PC.

Macs just plain don't crash even as much as a fraction as often as PCs, you save service fees, diagnostic time, and tweaking time that you would spend on a PC, and you can use that for more productivity time.

Virtually every second of the day, Winfroze is being compromised, and taken over by hackers. I never hear about Macs being hacked into. If over 26 million users is not a tempting target, what is? My networking friends used to hack over the internet regularly, but none of them has ever claimed to have ever penetrated a Mac. Generally, hackers hack systems that have the least security, and the easiest to hack into.

I know several people who have hacked into hundreds of systems. None of them has ever claimed to have penetrated a Mac.

The Macintosh was the first computer to feature a mouse. The Macintosh was the first computer to feature a GUI. The Macintosh was the first computer to feature Plug-and-Play. The Macintosh was the first computer that featured Office. The Macintosh was the first computer to feature a voice synthesizer. The Macintosh was the first computer to feature ANYTHING. Sure, PCs (during this time when the Macintosh was the only computer to even be able to do these things) could boast features of their own. They had a keyboard, monitor and DOS.

The iMac was the first computer to break out of the beige mold. It was such a good idea, that other companies started marketing their products in iMac colors, since you can't patent a color. The Nintendo 64 was sold in iMac colors. Apple forced PC companies to break the mold and put style into their cases, if they hoped to keep up with Apple in one category.

PCs have so much more software. That was one of my biggest arguments.

This is only because most of the titles are rip-offs from existing software. There is plenty of software for Macs, and trust me, unless you are a millionaire, and can expect to live for about a thousand years, you'll never use all of the software available for the Mac platform today, anyway. Let me guess, you Anti-Macs have used all the software for PCs? Uh huh. The software on the Mac platform is far superior and is far more stable than any for PCs. Even Linux cannot match the power and stability of Mac OS. Trust me.

I have used all three platforms. I have all three major platforms. But I cannot accept all three platforms.

I met a guy at a Blockbuster last night when I went to rent some dvds. He asked what types of movies I was looking for, and I told him movies about hacking. I wanted to rent War Games, to pay homage to the original cyberpunk genre. Inevitably, we started a conversation about computers.

It turns out, he was a die hard PC user. I thought, oh great, here we go again. But then he caught me by surprise when he said he went to college to be a graphics designer. He saw that they used Macs there, and was like "Oh, great. Macs." But he told me that after actually using the Macs, he realized that he prefers them over Windows PCs now. And now, he is another Mac user.

The truth is, PC users are scared. They know it in the far depths of their minds. Why are they scared? They are scared because they know they are using inferior equipment, hardware, and software. They know their $4000 systems are inferior even to lower-end PowerMac G5s. It is in the back of their minds because they denied this reality. To accept the truth would be to summon a burden of vulnerability, of which magnitude they cannot bear.

Man am I glad I challenged my friend. Because I was pwned. That was the best thing that I ever did. And the best thing that ever happened to me.

Why? Because now I know the truth? Well, partly.

But mainly because my life is now better that I use Macs.

Oh yeah, and i stands for "integrated." It's the copycats who suck. I kinda like the concept of uSuck.

Thesis: Windows still sucks, and there is still no excuse or defense that exists for it. By contrast, there is nothing to complain about for Apple products, except that their best stuff isn't out yet.

Go on Apple haters. Collaborate and render null and void my nefarious testimony.

I dare you.

January 17, 2005 at 10:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've got your head pretty far up your ass there. So apple is decent for one branch, and one branch alone. We'll talk when you can run Half Life 2 and Doom 3 on your dual processor uberpricey G5 without having to mull through tons of code or using a virtual PC. Or for the games that will run on both platforms, talk to me when it runs faster and looks better than if each frame was done in crayon by your hand.

January 21, 2005 at 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'm talking! I've got both a Mac and a Dell with fairly equivelant specs. And the Mac blows away the PC in UT04, period! And for that matter, the PC version looks more like a crayon drawing.

January 22, 2005 at 1:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Each PowerPC G5 can achieve a theoretical throughput of (at least) 9 million floating-point operations per second, or 9 gigaflops.The correct figure is 9 BILLION floating-point instructions per second, or 9 gigaflops.

February 14, 2005 at 1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Each PowerPC G5 can achieve a theoretical throughput of (at least) 9 million floating-point operations per second, or 9 gigaflops.The correct figure is 9 BILLION floating-point instructions per second, or 9 gigaflops.

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